In porn you have surely often seen how a woman spoils herself. But honestly, how often have you watched a woman masturbate in real life? We are not talking about you watching her perform foreplay on herself. We are talking about solo sex, the full program, starting with the warm-up and ending with orgasm – without you intervening.
If you can count the number of voyeuristic experiences on one hand, you are not alone in this. Very few men get to enjoy it frequently. And that's not surprising: After all, people usually withdraw to masturbate or do it when their partner is not around. The idea of masturbating in front of your partner is associated with shame for many women. It requires self-confidence and trust to be so open in front of your partner.
Why you should watch her masturbate
The first reason is obvious: I'm sure we can all agree that there is hardly a more beautiful sight in the bedroom than a woman pampering herself. But you also benefit beyond that when you watch her masturbate.
Couples who regularly expose themselves to their partner report developing more trust with their partner and being able to let go better during sex because of it. Because partners become more self-confident, they are also more likely to talk openly about desires and fantasies.
To sum it up, watching her masturbate strengthens your partnership. And there is another, very decisive advantage: if you follow your partner's hands with your eyes, you can find out exactly where and how she prefers to be touched – and apply the grips yourself later. You really won't learn this from porn. The way women satisfy themselves in sex films rarely corresponds to reality. Better learn from someone who really knows the ropes.
Here's how you go about it: Talk to her
If you want to watch your partner masturbate, you shouldn't leave it to chance. Waiting until she catches you masturbating and then proposing to her is not a good idea. But don't worry: it's no magic to convince her of the idea. Many women do not expect a serious offer, but are quite open to the topic.
After all, she knows that she can only benefit as long as you pay close attention during the solo program. But there are also women who sink to the ground with shame at the very thought of stroking themselves to climax in front of their partner. So there's no way around it: to find out if she's ready for solo sex in front of you, you need to talk to her about it.
And here's how to do it the smartest way: For example, you can playfully ask if she would find it exciting to see you pleasuring yourself in front of her and affirm that you would also find it exciting to be allowed to look at her while doing so. You tell your beloved indirectly that you are curious about her and her body and would like to learn something new.
Many women jump at it. However, if she refuses, you should not take it personally. There are so many more ways to experiment in bed.
Here's how it starts: Expect embarrassment
Don't be surprised if your sweetheart suddenly turns into a shy girl when she masturbates in front of you. Even if the lady is sexually very open-minded and regularly turns into a wild beast in bed, it could be that she is now embarrassed.
You surely know it, like many other men, yourself: In the quiet chamber, masturbating is not a thing and goes partly fast and uncomplicated, but if suddenly someone is watching, it changes everything. In fact, women often have trouble relaxing on their own. So it has nothing to do with you personally or their trust towards you.
A little tip: It takes away the shyness of the woman if you darken the room a bit the first time and don't just sit there and wait for her to finally start. Take your time. Touch her as usual. When you see that she starts to pleasure herself, slowly take yourself back more with your hands, but stay close to her.
This is how it gets down to business: let yourself be surprised
Oops, what is she doing? Many women use methods of masturbation that you might not have expected. While one woman uses only her fingers, the next uses a pillow, a vibrator or the shower head for pleasure.
The way she uses instruments also varies greatly from woman to woman. There is stroking, rubbing, squeezing and tickling. Everything exists and pleases.
Accept whatever the woman does and don't expect techniques you know from porn or ex-partners. Ideally, she satisfies herself as she would on her own – because that's what you can learn the most from.
Watch: Keep your hands still
Hey, this is what you've always wanted: your sweetheart going all out in her solo act – and you get to watch officially. With all the excitement, you shouldn't jump on the woman right now.
Familiar partners are often used to wanting to touch the other or assist with stimulation. Let it. Enjoy the show and lean back. Ideally, you do not stare, but observe as a silent participant.
Many women are especially turned on if you let them until the happy end and do not interfere. Of course, there is nothing against it if you occupy yourself with your best piece at the same time. But believe us: you will learn more if you give her your full attention. You will profit enough from this private lesson afterwards.
Take it a step further: fire it up
You are more advanced? Then you can heat things up a bit more the next time by doing a little role play. Play for example with dominance and submissiveness. As the dominant part, you can, for example, order her not to take her eyes off you while she is pleasuring herself.
On the other hand, the woman can excite you additionally, for example, if she says: "Look well. But you are not allowed to touch me!"The ban on touching gives the game a new kick. Important: You should agree on these rules beforehand.
Get up close and personal: lie down behind her
If your partner still feels insecure after several times, we know a method that will help her overcome her shyness a bit more. Sit behind her while she puts her back against your chest. Many women feel safe masturbating in this position because you can't look her directly in the eyes and feel your warmth. If your partner wants, you can touch her breasts or kiss her neck gently.
But also here applies: Remain retarded, it's still mainly about the fun of the partner with itself. While you don't have such a clear view of the hotspots in this position, this perspective does have its appeal. And if your sweetheart can't hold on any longer, you can turn solo sex into a duet really quickly this way.
Learn from their masturbation: Let yourself be guided
You can learn a lot just from watching her. To further improve your quality as a lover, you can also let your private instructor guide you: By gently placing your hand on top of your partner's while she pleasures herself, you can feel at what pace, pressure and rhythm she likes it best.
When she comes to orgasm, you feel her body quivering so very intensely. Not only will it make you totally hot, you'll also get a better feel for a woman's pleasure and learn what pleases her. And that is exactly what makes mutual masturbation in the relationship so pleasurable and exciting.
Watching her masturbate strengthens love and desire. Solo sex can never replace good sex, but it can give you insight into your partner's sexuality that you would never have experienced otherwise – and thus improve your horizons and the sex you have together.
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