1. Sex accident: Pancakes al dente
No, there is no delicious pancake recipe here now. Pancakes al dente – in the truest sense of the word – were served by a couple from the Russian Republic of Mordovia (yes, that's the real name of the place). Together the two wanted to spend a cozy cooking evening. What was there? Sure, pancakes. During the preparation, however, not only the pancakes got hot. While the woman satisfied the man orally, the man took care of the pancakes and took the pan off the stove. But apparently the blowjob of his girlfriend had TOO relaxing effect. The hot pan slipped from the man's hands and fell on the head of his partner, who clenched her teeth hard in pain. Luck in the misfortune for the man: He got away with a bite wound.
2. Sex accident: sow(g)strong performance
At the end of the 1970s, a German was particularly creative when it came to masturbation: He put the suction nozzle of his vacuum cleaner over his penis in order to satisfy himself in this way. However, in the Vorwerk "Kobold" model he was using, the rotating blades were unfortunately installed very close to the tube outlet, so the man suffered significant injuries to the glans area with his erection. As this – let's call it – "phenomenon" became more frequent over the next few years, the commonly known vacuum cleaner injury or "Kobold's disease" named after the model developed. After Vorwerk became aware of the risk of injury, the company modified the design of their "Kobold" so that there was no longer a risk of injury. Vacuum cleaner "accidents" are still at the top of the list of sex accidents, though.
3. Sex accident: Superhero my ass
Stupidity hurts. This story shows why the adage is absolutely true: A bank employee from Siena wanted to show his girlfriend what a heroic lover he is – and blew it big time. Dressed as Batman, the 50-year-old Italian tried to jump off a dresser onto his girlfriend to save the 26-year-old from the clutches of a fictional villain. However, the man missed the bed and broke his arm (at least not his penis) when he hit the floor!) and fainted. The crowning glory: The naked love playmate lay helplessly tied to the bed. After hearing the thud and realizing her boyfriend wasn't saying anything, the woman screamed for help until a neighbor finally called 911.
4. Sex accident: In a drunken stupor
A man visited a brothel. His personal preference: enemas. For the "trained staff" nothing special. To make the whole thing a little more varied, the two dedicated prostitutes took red wine instead of water for the enema. Not the best choice – as it turned out a little later. After some time the man was motionless on the floor, the ladies called the emergency services in panic. The latter found that there was nothing wrong with the man – he was just completely drunk. Background: The human body absorbs alcohol extremely quickly via the intestinal mucosa.
5. Sex accident: Danger of terror
Another lesson we learn from this man's embarrassing story: an American was pleasuring himself with a vibrator before his flight on vacation. Unfortunately, he could not get his little friend out of his butt, so he had to make his way to the airport together with his "anal companion". The man seemed to care more about his vacation than about his health. A mistake he should regret badly. Because when he went through the security gate, the metal detector started beeping like mad. Since the security personnel did not find anything during the palpation, the suspect had to endure a thorough examination of all body orifices… By the way, he missed his flight.
6. Sex Accident: Safer Sex 2.0
A doctor from India treated a patient for half a year (!) for her chronic cough, cold and fever. In desperation, the doctor administered one medication after another to the lady – nothing helped, the woman continued to cough and snort. To determine why the woman just did not get better, the man x-rayed her. The footage showed: there was a condom in her lungs, which she must have swallowed during oral sex. Safe sex must be learned ..
7. Sex accident: Drive-in with a difference
Things got really hot for two lovers who were having fun in a dark parking lot in the car. The couple was doing it so intensively that they didn't notice that the car suddenly started rolling. One of the two had accidentally touched the gear stick in the rush of love, the handbrake was not applied. Now that the car was idling, the violent movements started to get the vehicle going. The result: the car finally crashes through a large glass pane into the fast food restaurant belonging to the parking lot.
8. Sex accident: inseparable love
There are probably some who have had sex in the sea before. A couple from Italy had a rather painful experience with this. While the two were passionately doing it in the water, the woman suddenly suffered a vaginal cramp. Both the woman and the man cried out in pain. The screams did not go unnoticed: swimmers rushed over and helped the couple out of the water. Only an anticonvulsant in the hospital could bring the "lovebirds" apart again.
9. Sex accident: woman in shopping frenzy
Half of Asia goes crazy on so-called "Singles Day" – as many hot bargains can be snatched up online in the biggest discount battle of the year. The protagonist of our next story didn't want to miss out on that either: A woman from China didn't want to miss out on the best deals, so she set her cell phone alarm for midnight. Instead of sleeping, however, she "passed the time" with your boyfriend during lovemaking. At the moment when the vibrating alarm of her cell phone went on, she reached back for her phone so clumsily that she twisted her lover's best piece in the process. Thanks to online shopping, the man's penis was blue and swollen the next morning. Diagnosed with a tissue rupture at the hospital. We learn from this: no smartphone during sex!
10. Sex accident: Beautiful views
Such a traffic jam can be quite boring sometimes. That's probably what a woman from Cirencester in England thought too. The 30-year-old was stuck in traffic in her Mini Cooper and passed the time masturbating. And since her hand wasn't enough for her, she went straight for a Rampant Rabbit vibrator. The climax: In her ecstasy, the woman accidentally puts her foot on the gas and crashes into the middle of a truck of a fishing company. The downside for the driver: He was able to enjoy watching the action on the rear-view camera of his truck.
What do we learn from this? When having sex, always switch off the light immediately so that no one can accidentally film your own escapades and put them on the net.
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